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A narrow glimpse of a stranger on the internet. Take your time.

Sam, sorry if you have already answered this but how do I practice nonattachment? Say that someone says something that upsets me but is not worth fighting over. How do I detach from those feelings of anger? I think I should acknowledge my feelings and reasons for my reponse, but then what? Specific steps would be helpful... I am wanting to practice nonattachment but can find nothing that plainly states how exactly to do it

panatmansam:

Buddhism is some twenty-five hundred years old. It is a religion but the core teachings of the Buddha with the ritualistic clutter of the last few thousand years removed is more akin to a philosophy or even a psychological system. Buddhism is not concerned with your soul. It’s core principle is not even enlightenment. 

It is the end of suffering in this life.

Let us examine the oft misunderstood concept of “attachment”. Many people think that attachment means caring deeply for something. It does not. It means clinging onto the way things are, or the way you imagine them to have been in the face of inevitable change. The now is constantly changing and so are the things you have in your life e.g friends, relationships, your own youth and beauty, everything.

What is the process when you cling to an attachment? You feel frustration and/or loss. Frustration means not getting your way. It is the feeling we get when our will meets an obstacle to its purposes. You hit a red light when you are in a hurry. You lock your keys in your car. Your girlfriend breaks up with you. You get fired. Your ego is frustrated and that is the root of anger. Watch a chimpanzee when it gets frustrated. Say when the animal expects a treat but the treat does not come. You can see the agitation build and then an angry outburst, often very violent. Humans have this same impulse. So, we yell at traffic. Bang our hands on the steering wheel and curse our fate.

Yet, really what has happened? You have been confronted with the reality that the universe does not revolve around YOU. Any source or frustration can best be dealt with in one of two ways. The first is by logically, methodically and consciously seeking to fix the problem. Keys locked in? Try a coat hanger or call a locksmith. No need for frustration. It is just takes a few simple actions. The other, when the problem is not within your control, accept. Traffic stopped because of construction? You can’t fix it by blaring your horn. So, you accept. Crank up the tunes. Call your mom and tell her you love her. Plan a great trick to pull on your roommates after school.

See? This is the way attachment works. It is not some complex mystical concept.

๑ Samsaran ๑

How much better to know we have dared to live our dreams, than to live our lives in a lethargy of regret.

Gilbert Caplin

A long time ago I learned not to explain things to people. It misleads them into thinking they’re entitled to know everything I do.

Lisa Kleypas (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

^I may have got this quote all wrong but it reminded me that this is something I used to struggle with. I’m mindful of it most of the time now, and thankfully can stop myself… But I’d go to write things and find myself writing some long explanation, almost as if I’m excusing myself or apologising for something I’m not sorry for. Im glad that now I’ll be like wait… I don’t need to explain myself.. this is unnecessary, I am entitled to think/feel/say/do what I want without having to explain my reasons behind it or justifying it or some shit! It’s a little bit empowering :)

10 Truths to Live By

onlinecounsellingcollege:

1. It’s your life not their life.

2. You’re stronger than you think.

3. You’re not the lies you believe about yourself.

4. You’re not your past – and your past is not your future.

5. No-one else is going to solve your problems for you.

6. You have the power to turn your life around.

7. You are worthy of success and you can reach your dreams.

8. Don’t put up with mistreatment and abuse.

9. Treat yourself with respect and require respect from others.

10. Keep searching till you find unconditional love; there are people who will love you just because you are you.

As true as true can be!

Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.

Dalai Lama (via purplebuddhaproject)

(via panatmansam)